Melinda

Rating: MEDIUM

Opening: Menopause is just the beginning.

Melinda grew up in Manchester in the UK within a ‘bog standard’ middle class family. Her Dad was a mechanic and Mum worked at the florist three days a week. Melinda had an older brother Eric and a younger sister Julia. Life was relatively straight forward and as the story goes, Melinda meets boy, falls in ‘love’ and lives happily ever after.

Melinda’s background isn’t as important as her modern day journey. Other than to say: she was a school teacher; an avid writer; she had one child Mathew, and; her husband of 22 years Gerrard passed away when Melinda was 49. Melinda is now 53.

Gerrard was an executive in the NHS and had a long standing passion to become a doctor; but that never eventuated. Neither he nor Melinda were prepared to sacrifice what amounted to over 10 years of study and financial stress. When he was diagnosed with prostate cancer at age 46 they decided to head back to Gerrard’s home town of Shetland in Scotland. The idea of heading home made so much sense given Gerrard’s prognosis wasn’t good. So they set about buying a small block of land in Levenwick and building a cute open plan three bedroom home overlooking the North Sea.

The idea of building was appealing to both of them. When the ‘day came’ Gerrard wanted to feel as though everything was paid for and Melinda was set up. Mathew was at University in the UK and lived in the family unit. Melinda could visit whenever she wanted and yet, head back to Shetland to find some solace and write her children novels. Moreover, they designed the house so Melinda could derive a passive income through AIRBnB when Gerrard had passed away.

That day came. It was terribly sad, but everything was in place and whilst they often chatted about the past and missed opportunities, everything - as best as they could be - was perfect.

Fast forward 4 years and Melinda was sitting in her lounge overlooking green Shetland hills, that rolled ever so elegantly into the ocean and recollected a conversation her and Gerrard had, only weeks prior to him passing away. It went like this:

Gerrard: “Hey sweetie how’s the whole menopause scenario panning out?”

Melinda: “Do you really want to talk about that right now given what you’re going through?”

Gerrard: “Of course I do. I’m still alive for God Sake…”

They both had a chuckle.

Melinda: “Well technically, I’m in what they call perimenopause. It’s a phase prior to full blown menopause. It’s complicated as I’m a little different.

“I’ve headed into menopause earlier than most women, because in theory, this all started a couple of years back when my cycle started to go haywire.”

Gerrard: “Do you think my diagnosis and the associated stress contributed to you going into menopause early?”

Melinda: “I don’t think so babe. I spoke to Mum about it and she believes she went into perimenopause when she was in her late 30’s. The solution back then was a hysterectomy, which is what she had of course. So for me to be nearly 10 years ahead of her is a blessing. Well I’m counting it a blessing anyway.”

Gerrard: “So how long is this going to go on for?”

Melinda: “My Doctor can’t say. But honestly, I’m thinking no more than two to three years. My cycle has almost stopped, but I still get a half period every three months or so. It’s weird and I’m back on the pill to help balance out the routine - which is weird in itself, as I haven’t been on the pill for a longtime. And as you know, I’ll go on HRT when it’s the right time. So I guess, like most girls, I’ll just have to go with the flow.”

Gerrard: “Damn when you go on HRT some bloke is going to be real lucky.”

Melinda had mixed feelings on how to respond to that statement. She certainly hasn’t felt horny for some time and Gerrard’s diagnosis and having his prostate removed, hasn’t helped. She felt guilty on one hand and yet at peace with it all on the other. Much of this was out of her control and yes she was sad, but it was pointless getting depressed about it all.

Gerrard, realising there was an awkward pause: “Look that was a joke. I didn’t mean to upset you babe.”

Melinda: “I know you didn’t, it’s just hard to talk about. And I feel so terribly sad that I haven’t been able to give you what you want in bed for some time. And that’s been made even harder by your diagnosis.”

At the end of that sentence, Melinda burst into tears. She sobbed and sobbed. And that sent Gerrard off. They were sitting on the sofa so hugged - for what felt like an eternity. Nothing was said. Melinda was wearing a tank top and could feel Gerrard’s tears drip from his chin onto her shoulder. It was that cold wet feeling of tear drops that made her realise this was deep, and that, she may not have much longer with this man she had adored for such a long time.

As they separated from the hug Gerrard spoke first:

Gerrard: “Look babe. Life is what it is. We have no say in how it starts or ends. We are, where we are today, due to fate. It’s been an incredible journey and I just look at it all as positively as I can. We have a lot to be thankful for.

“But you need to make me a promise.”

With that Melinda had no choice but to respond:

Melinda: “Ok, give it to me.”

Gerrard: “I want you to promise me, that you will live a fruitful amazing life after I’ve gone.

“I want you to explore the world, meet incredible people and never give up on loving someone else.

“You owe it to me not to sit around and sulk.

“And, go get your bloody self on that HRT and relive your 20’s. Be naughty, sexy, fun, vibrant and even more.

“I want you to promise me you’ll make up for lost time.”

Damn this was hard for Melinda to hear. She really had no inclination of thinking about the future, let alone contemplate meeting someone or even feeling sexy again. In fact, sexy was the last thing on her mind. But she needed to respond.

Melinda: “Look babe, I don’t know what the future holds, but I’ll promise you once I’m over all this and you’re a memory, I’ll do my best.

“I really can’t promise any more than that. I don’t know how I will feel after all this. But, I’ll try my best.”

With that Gerrard smiled and gave Melinda another hug.

Gerrard: “I guess that’s all I can ask for Melinda. I just want you to be happy.”

So with that they hugged one more time and Melinda proceeded to the kitchen as it was getting close to dinner time. Meanwhile Gerrard threw on the TV to watch the Six Nations; Scotland was about to play England at Murray Field.

The future………

Melinda is now 53 and Gerrard passed away nearly 4 years ago. As she lay in bed on a cold bleak Shetland Saturday morning, remembering that entire conversation felt surreal, but a reminder that Melinda had a promise to fulfil. To be fair the only reason Melinda reflected back to that conversation was because she woke up feeling a tad horny. Perhaps even sexy.

She started HRT therapy six months ago, as the tests confirmed menopause had ended. She hadn’t had a period for some time and her GP confirmed that she needed a break, and then have her hormone levels tested again. This occurred and the tests showed low levels. The solution was a HRT patch. She started on the patch and had never felt so good. She was back doing some part-time teaching, writing and she was easing her way into the AIR BnB scene.

In some regards the transition beyond menopause for Melinda was made easier with Gerrard’s prognosis. Unlike other couples who struggled with intimacy during the whole menopause transition, Gerrard simply wasn’t feeling it. So the pressure on Melinda to ‘deliver’ really wasn’t there. This - even unfortunate scenario she found herself in - allowed Melinda to slowly work through all these changes ‘her way’ and upon reflection, Gerrard’s approach to the whole change of life puzzle for Melinda, was incredibly sweet. So as Melinda laid in bed that cold frosty morning she got thinking:

Melinda: ‘When was the last time I had an orgasm?’

Melinda waded back through all the memories, and literally couldn’t remember.

Melinda: ‘I honestly can’t remember.

‘Was it on holidays in Spain? I doubt it, as that wasn’t long after Gerrard’s first chemo session.

‘It must have been back home in the UK and well before the diagnosis. But I honestly can’t remember.’

Orgasms never really came easily for Melinda and she never worked out why. She would listen to podcasts on female sexuality to find solutions, but that never really worked out. Then very close friends would talk about new dating experiences - especially her BFF Shelly, who divorced her husband Peter and then started on this swinger party journey - and convey how amazing sex was with these new men. And in Shelly’s world, women also.

But in saying that, Melinda had had success with adult toys in the past. They tended to ‘hit the mark’ and she would often use them when Gerrard was away for work with success. The sad part for Melinda was that Gerrard wasn’t into them at all. That made her sad, but at the end of the day it was a personal experience and so he had every right to not like them. So as Melinda lay in bed her mind started racing:

Melinda: ‘I wonder where those toys are. I never threw them out.

‘I bet they are in that old black suitcase in the top wardrobe.’

Melinda was wearing a t-shirt and knickers and the house was free of AIR BnB guests for a fortnight. She always wore clothes to bed in case a guest needed something or she wanted to get up and make a drink. But with that thought, she seriously questioned why she was fully clothed in bed when she was totally alone in her own home.

Melinda: ‘Ok, screw this…..panties are coming off.’

For some reason the t-shirt stayed on. Perhaps in case a neighbour was out mowing the lawn and a blind in one of the spare rooms was open. Anyway, Melinda was finding a balance in her own mind. As she took off her knickers:

Melinda: ‘Damn girl, those knickers are huge. Grandma would be pleased’ (Melinda thought to herself with a chuckle).

‘Make note to self - buy some new sexy underwear.’

With her knickers now on the floor, off to the spare room she went. She knew she had toys, but as she walked down the hallway she needed to remind herself of what she was ‘potentially’ looking for.

Melinda: ‘Now, I know I have two vibrators. One is perfectly straight the other has rabbit ears.

‘I also have a butt plug that Shelly purchased for me after ‘the most INCREDIBLE session’ she had ever had.’

Shelly and Melinda had a catch-up over wine one Sunday afternoon a few years back, where Shelly decided to fill Melinda in on a threesome she had with a married couple. At the time Melinda was mortified that Shelly was even thinking of threesomes and butt plugs, let alone telling her best friend about it all. But right now, in this moment, the part where Shelly wanted to explore kind of all made more sense.

Melinda grabbed the small fold out step ladder and up into the wardrobe she went. She had a few suitcases up there, with old stuff packed away. She knew what was what and that the slightly grey / black case, yeah that was the one with personal items from the unit - before they left for Shetland. So it was that one she got down.

Melinda: ‘Ok, let’s take a look inside,’ (Melinda mused to herself with some level of girlish excitement).

As she ruffled through the case and pulled out old jumpers that frankly would suit better as rags in the garage than being worn, there they were. And she remembered exactly how she had gone about packing them, now that she could see them.

Melinda: ‘Ah now I remember.

‘I had placed all the naughty ‘stuff’ into an old toiletry bag.

‘Good thing the bag was big enough for both toys and chargers’, she laughed to herself.

She unzipped the bag and laid everything out on the bed. The contents were exactly as she thought. A whitish straight vibrator, a pink rabbit vibe, a silver butt plug with a beautiful red shiny stone handle / end, and OMG …

Melinda: ‘Well, bugga me. I had forgotten all about that bad boy.’

Inside the bag with everything else was a double ended dildo, but with a twist. This wasn’t for girl-on-girl action, it was a vagina / butt double ended dildo, with a twist. Both ends had these massive ribs and yet, Melinda had never used it.

As Melinda sat on the side of the bed with the double ended dildo in her hand: ‘Damn. I had forgotten all about that.

‘What a funny memory. And yet I’ve never used it.’

The double ended dildo was a secret birthday present again from Shelly. Melinda remembered the moment she opened it up and Shelly saying something to the effect of: “….girl friend you’ll thank me one day.”

The challenge with this item was that she had never shown Gerrard. And thank goodness she hadn’t. Justifying the toy would have meant opening up on what Shelly was up to. And Gerrard would have been mortified.

Melinda placed the double ended vibe on the bed and proceeded to check out the other toys. The straight vibe was battery operated whilst the rabbit ear vibe had a charger. And of course, the butt plug didn’t vibrate at all. So the challenge now before her, was simple: what next?

Melinda: ‘So what am I in the mood for.

‘I don’t want anything too over the top, but I am feeling it.’

Melinda, opened the end of the straight vibe and it took two AA sized batteries. That made sense as a start, as she could slot two batteries in that one and put the other on charge. So she packed up the double ended dildo and butt plug and proceeded to the kitchen to grab batteries from the drawer. She placed the charger in the socket and got the rabbit ear vibe underway. Thankfully it buzzed as soon as it was plugged in. Melinda assumed this meant it would work once fully charged.

She then rummaged through the third drawer and found two brand new AA batteries. Working out the positive and negative ends and how they slotted in was seemingly the hardest task. But she figured it out, and now was the time for the proof.

Melinda: ‘Honestly, these batteries shit me.

‘It’s taken me longer to work that out than wash my hair.

‘Here goes……’

With that she pressed the ON button and away it went. And damn did it fire up. It slipped out of her hand and onto the bench top and pinged and sizzled across the bench until she managed to grab it with both hands and take control.

Melinda: ‘Damn, that things goes off.

‘The only issue I now have is does the bloody thing slow down?’

And yes it does. All she had to do was slow twist the end cap clockwise or counter clockwise, based on the level of vibration she needed. Now that was sorted….

Melinda: ‘Well now what girly’, she asked herself.

‘Oh shit…..I had better wash it…’

Washing it made her laugh. It seemed rather comical that she was standing in her kitchen looking toward the North Sea on a wet and rainy Saturday morning, with no knickers on and making sure her ‘vibrator’ was clean and ready for use.

But given all the fluffing around, had she lost her nerve? Was she even ready to start again or did she need some time to reflect? These were all very common and natural questions she now needed to address.

Melinda: ‘I’m kind of not feeling this now to be fair.

‘Am I rushing it?’

‘I don’t feel guilty as such. But I was horny earlier.

‘ Perhaps…..um…….um…..I guess I’m just out of practice.'

‘How about I have a shower, a morning coffee and then re-group? (That sounded like a great idea).

So with that, she placed the battery vibe on the bench top. No one would visit today so it was safe. Although she did check the front door was locked as the neighbours were quite friendly and would often walk in to say hi if Melinda was in the laundry and couldn’t hear them knocking. The issue Melinda has of course was them walking in and finding vibrators on her bench top. Oh she now has another thought….

Melinda: ‘Damn, if Joe or Sylvania happen to come over and look into the kitchen, they’d still see the bloody things on the bench through the kitchen window,’ Melinda thought to herself.

With that she unplugged the vibrator, grabbed the battery vibe and went into the spare room to grab the butt plug and double ended vibe. She then went to her room. Everything except the rabbit ear vibe on charge went into the top drawer. As she did this, she chuckled to herself….

Melinda: ‘Of course they go into the top drawer….

‘Who doesn’t have naughty stuff in the top drawer. Easy to grab I guess…’

Everything was packed away. Vibe was on charge and laying on the bedside cabinet. T-shirt came off - now she was completely naked - and off to the ensuite for a shower she went.

Whilst all of this was happening and the warm Shetland water felt natural and warm on her body, all she could think of was how much fun Shelly had after her divorce. As she slowly washed herself with body wash, she felt sexy. She was in great shape for 53 and content with her body. As she slowly washed her butt she felt the need to slide her fingers between her cheeks. It was warm, slippery and clean.

Then she inadvertently - or was it by chance - felt her butt cheeks open up. Instantly she remembered how she adored being done doggie and her cheeks being slowly spread apart. She wasn’t thinking about any man, just Shelly’s real life fantasies and how her journey, now for some unknown and unexplainable reason, all of a sudden made her feel so damn horny.

Melinda was feeling it again. So she decided to spread her butt cheeks even wider. So wide she could feel the warm water flow over her anus. It felt divine. Sensual and erotic. Nothing over the top, just pleasurable.

She then stood up and started to play with her inner thigh. She found the inner thigh on anyone sexy. She used her nails to dig in deep and then slide up and down her skin. Her eyes were shut and as she continued to use her nails on one thigh she ran her fingers through her hair, massaged her scalp and then slow squeezed a handful of hair. Just enough to get the message.

The warm water just kept coming and so too did the thoughts. For the first time in years she desperately wanted to be fucked. But not lightly. She wanted a man to fuck her hard. She could feel this massive urge to play with her ass. She initially questioned it but then:

Melinda mentally checked in with herself: ‘Fuck it Melinda.

‘Stop overthinking it. You’re not hurting anyone.

‘AND it’s BEEN WAY TOO LONG!!’

With that she opened her legs, faced the wall, planted both hands on the tiles and imagined some hot dude sliding his hard shaft between her butt cheeks. Mentally she was giving him the freedom to do what ever he wanted. In her mind, she was his and it was time to make up for lost time.

As she thought about his hard pulsating shaft teasing her from behind, she reached back as if to pretend to grab this hard cock. All she could imagine right now was a hard cock and where she wanted it. So she took a finger and massaged her ass. She hadn’t done this in YEARS, but for some reason, it’s all she wanted.

Massaging her entrance slowly she couldn’t wait; she slid in her finger and MY GOODNESS it felt good. Her ass was ready, it was tight, slippery and it felt AMAZING. And then she had a thought….

Melinda: ‘Should I get the butt plug?

AND THEN…..

‘What on earth is happening here?

‘I’ve never used a butt plug before. How will it feel. Is now the time? Why am I feeling all of this NOW?’

Melinda was confused and torn. She didn’t feel guilty and most certainly didn’t feel dirty. Was completely in the pocket and yet, why was she doubting herself?

With that she rinsed the body wash off, couldn’t be bothered washing her hair. She turned the water off, got out of the shower, dried herself in what felt like 10 seconds, threw the towel on the floor in frustration, threw on her t-shirt and walked straight past her bed back into the kitchen.

She walked straight past her bed because she DID NOT want to visually see the vibrator on charge. For some stupid reason - in her mind anyway - she was pissed off. But what was she pissed off about?

Melinda works things out and rather quickly. And in ways we never see coming.

It’s an incredible journey for an intelligent, beautiful and friendly woman, who has been through so much, and yet realises that now is her time. Melinda’s post menopause journey is real. It’s a real life example of what the future looks like for many women and how the decades before you, can be so much more fruitful and exciting than anyone ever expected. It’s time to fulfil that promise!